If I Ruled the World
So there I was, two days ago, at the airport standing in a queue waiting to check in for a flight to go to my house in Northern Ireland. And what a queue it was! This particular airline had about 15 check-in desks – flights to European and UK destinations – the length of the Concourse. But it was ‘rush hour’ and there was no way to work a way through the crowds.
I queued for 30 minutes at the check-in desk marked ‘All UK Flights’.
Eventually I got to the front. Here is the conversation that ensued.
“Good morning, sir�
“Good morning�
“Where are you flying to today, sir?�
“Belfast�
“Ah, you are in the wrong queue. This queue is for UK flights only.�
“Er…Belfast is in the UK. It’s in Northern Ireland�
“Yes, sir, I know�
“So, this is the queue for ‘All UK Flights’. Belfast is in the UK.�
“Well, it’s not in the UK for the purposes of our company, sir.�
“Pardon?�
“Belfast is not in the UK as far as we are concerned, sir�
“What?�
“That’s right, sir. You will need to join the queue at Check-in Desk 44�
“OK, let me get this straight. Your company has chosen to re-write the political and geographic map of the United Kingdom so that it can get its queue system sorted?�
“I’m sorry, sir. It’s the rules.�
I won’t bore you with the rest of the conversation. Needless to say, I was pretty confident of my stance, since I had done my PhD in 17th-century British history; I searched my memory but was fairly sure that, at no time in British history, was a clause drawn up stating that businesses could unilaterally decide to ignore one nation state for administrative tidiness and staffing situations. The UK is the UK. I stood my ground and, somewhat forcefully, made my point with the weight of history behind me.
Recognising that the CEO would probably have to call a national Referendum to re-inforce his position (and no one in Europe wants to follow that course of action right now!), the airline capitulated and I was allowed to check-in at that desk.
But I thought it was an interesting stance to take. A company feels that, quite literally, the world should change its way of being to accommodate its business practices. Most companies, in the 21st-century are waking up to the fact that it is they, not the rest of the world, who need to be flexible to survive.
I hope that this particular airline learns this before July. Why? Because I will be there, in the ‘All UK Flights’ queue once more – but this time to make a political point, standing in solidarity with my Northern Irish comrades! I’ll let you know how I get on…
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Go on Steve. Tell us the airline’s name, and the airport – let’s start a movement here. “APISWNIAPUK” – Airline Passengers In Solidarity With Northern Ireland As Part of the United Kingdom.
Great story Steve! I am looking forward to episode 2!
Thanks for the laugh. I read it out loud to my daughter and laughed so much the tears rolled down my face. Thanks for making my day.
What is it about airport-companies? Barrie referred to this mindset as well. “It’s not in the UK for ‘our purposes’”! Imagine that…My system doesn’t work this way, so the world needs to adapt. But then, some of these systems are so expensive no wonder they don’t want to change them…it’s perhaps cheaper and easier to literally move Belfast out of the UK, than it is to change the check-in system of an airline.
More stupid rules: this is from the first line of an email I received today:
Before reading or acting on this e-mail or opening any attachment hereto, please read the [company name] South Africa (Pty) Ltd Email Legal Notice, at http://www.???.com/intl/za/email_legal_notice.html, to which you shall be deemed to be bound.
THAT’S friendly. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I emailed the person back and suggested they remove this notice. Her response was:
yeah unfortunately its gotta be there … our Head Office is in the States and we fall under ALL their laws … very painful sometimes.
Nice. I’m sure there is a very good legal reason why they have to have this legal notice right at the top. I’m sure there’s a very good legal reason why they need to have it there when the email originates in South Africa. And I’m equally sure I don’t care.